We are so tiny on the face of the Earth. I mean, when we die, we are buried, absorbed into the Earth and also, forgotten. It will prolly hit someone like a meteor when one dies, at least someONE. But as th years past or maybe after the generation of people who have been around the person have all perished, no one will care about the long dead.
Just felt like sharing that thought.
Have you ever like, brushed off your problems instantaneously? As if you wear an immune bodykit that is green and acts like a layer of protection that kills anything negative that comes your way. Kind of like the dettol commercials where the whole family has that green layer thing going on after they take a shower? Because i do. && i dont know why im blogging about this because normally i wouldn't but i'm doing it for curiosity's sake. I hope it doesnt kill the cat, like you know .. curiosity killed th cat? Nevermind, im not good with jokes anyway. Oh yes, as i was saying, i have felt that way and lately, its all i ever feel towards the kind of negative things that go on in my life. It's like, (example cause i dont wanna put my real dirty issues on the table), my pet gerbil which i dont even know what it looks like but th name sounds cute dies, i would be well, obviously sad and maybe shed a few tears depending on how cute that gerbil was and be bummed but within a few days, i would be all okay and everyone knows how much i love animals, if giogio leaves me like that, i would be so down, i could deccelerate down past the earth's core. Ah nevermind i used a stupid example i dont think anyone understood what they just read. What i'm trying to say is, i dont grief or get very sad over the situation and i just feel TOTALLY fine after that and that may sound cool cause no one likes feeling crappy but its also dangerous mainly because well, we need to grieve to move on and if we move on without grieving, to me it means technically, we are not OVER that negative situation that occured. Therefore, situation will pile up on situation and then BOOM! , you or shall i say i will get a tragic meltdown and i dont like meltdowns like hello.
I learnt about the 'Grief Cycle' in school a few months back and i cant help but seem to relate all my problems to it. I find it really interesting and very true. You could apply it to yourself and i bet it'll work just th same.
Okay so basically this grief cycle came about when this doctor Elizabeth Kubler Ross (woman power!) chose to spend time with dying patients and comforted them. Over th years, it was noticed that not only like people who were terminally ill experienced this cycle but also ppl who were affected by bad news or was going through a tough time like a break-up or death of a loved one. Okay im typing alot and i know alot of ppl just get scared away by lengthy scrolls of words so let me just jump right to the cycle itself.
A bombshell bursts, and then: (i cant help but think of Pamela Anderson's badonkas popping but this was what th book wrote!)
Bombshell bursts then:
` shock stage ( very paralysed upon th bad news) *gasp* kinda reactions
` denial stage ( avoiding reality, omg so true, see?) "This cant be happening, bla bla."
` anger stage ( frustrated outpours of bottled emotions) "This is bull****!"
` bargaining stage (seeking in vain for a way out, which is very true too) "God, if u return him to me, i promise you i would never cheat/lie/etc "
` depression stage ( this is when u finally realise the inevitable)
` testing stage (seeking realistic solutions)
` acceptance stage ( finally moving on)
True or not? true or not!? Yes i hope?
In addition, a common problem is that people usually get stuck in one phase. For example a person may be stuck in the denial stage and wont move forward into accepting the inevitable.
Another problem would be going in cycles. Like a person moves to th next stage without really completing the earlier phase and this will cause them to move back. Its really all jumbled. There is no specific movement. Like a person may go through the shock, denial , anger and bargaining stage but when he finds out bargaining is not working, he'll move back to being angry. Or, a person may go through th shock and depression stage, then straight to acceptance.
"The more experience we have, the better we can handle it"
- That's what i think.
So, personally i feel these days, i skip alot of stages and lie into acceptance. I know its coming back to haunt me. I think. If anyone reads this at all, i hope it made u aware of how grief works and maybe it will be easier to handle? cause situations are always handled best when we know what we are dealing with.
OH MY GOSH, LONGEST POST EVER. I really hope it was not boring.
Oh, i watched the Orphan and i really hope that that kinda growth hormones dont exist because its just freaky with a capital F.
On th other hand, this is one of my favourite movies of all time. I sob everytime i watch it. Its just too beautiful.
And in time, i'll know what i deserve. And in time, i'll know there's so much more in store. And in time, i'll know that these problems are just problems. I just hope time is on my side because i build alot of faith around it.
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